Submitted by: News Donkey
Submitted 07 Aug 2007, at 19:07
Just what does fat-faced-thin-person and Helena Bonham Carter double, Pete Doherty, have to do to get sent down around here?
Yet again, he’s been let off with the threat of prison if/when he fails in his latest bid to stop sucking on the old Apple Jacks and Zammo Powder.
He’s had more appearances before court than he’s released singles* but still they let him out to bother cats with crackpipes and muck himself in a winebago. Why?
What does this affectation-infested former rentboy possibly have over the highly esteemed judicial system of this country.
And fuck all that, he supports QPR.
The one big Gladiator hand thumbs up in his favour though, is that he once decked Max Carlish.
Ey up petal. Not wanting to steal anyone’s limelight like, but I’m not ‘avin no bucktoothed wannabe horse taking over MY homepage. Who said Yorkshiremen were tight eh? Wa’ it you, lad?!
Aye, it’s been a while, I’ll gi’ yer that, but this old Grandfather has been reet busy. My days as a rock ‘n’ roll hero are far from over. I’ve had that sprog from t’Arctic Monkeys on t’phone asking me fer advice. He knows, y’see, he knows that I used to be in Slade before they hit t’big time. He knows how quick t’tide can turn. ‘ow can I ‘elp it that me ‘air wasn’t as funky as Dave bloody Hill’s, I ask yer! Noel Gallgher were reet abaht him. Three ‘aircuts on one ‘ead? That’s just greed and rock ‘n’ roll excess, that is.
Anyroad, young Alex Turner were askin’ fer my advice ‘cos I’m Yorkshire’s official Rock ‘N’ Roll Sage. It’s a very esteemed position, I’ll have you know – and they’ve all been on t’blower to me. That Jarvis Cocker thinks he’s got this job laid out on a plate fer his later years – a nice little retirement package. Well I tell thee now Jarvis, if yer still kickin’ it in 20 years time like Paul McCartney hoppin’ around in black and white wi’ his little ukelele, only then can yer come knockin’ at my door.
T’old music industry does seem a little quiet this week, I ‘ave to say – must be why that donkeh’s goin’ on abaht Peter Doherty yet again. I think it’s fair to say that t’donkeh’s more hooked on old Doherty than the Doherty is himself t’sherbet!
All I will say is thank God that t’bloody Rihanna an’ her Umbrella song has been displaced at last. I’m sorry love, try livin’ in Yorkshire before you start rattlin’ on abaht umbrellas. I tell thee!
Nostalgic fans had one last chance to be horrified in 1994 as Pink Floyd heaved out a final death-defying album before eventually fading into apathy.
Rather than make the heroic sudden exit that many of Britain’s greatest acts chose to make before falling from grace, the Floyd engine simply refused to stop.
The year is 1968. Like the dinosaurs before them, The Beatles rule the Earth. They are at their most personally fragmented, musically at their most self-referential (see Glass Onion: “I told you about the walrus and me-man/You know that we’re as close as can be-man/Well here’s another clue for you all/The walrus was Paul”), enlightened by spiritual escapades in the Indian sun and at the cusp of everything that followed, deaths, Wings and whinges.
Originally to be titled Dope, Sex and Cheap Thrills, this record by Big Brother & Holding Company is a real gem. A shining stone on a beach of back catalogue confusion. Spilling out onto the streets with the musty air of the San Fransisco acid-rock scene of the late 60s, Big Brother and Holding Company played the blues like no other band at the time.
Detached from the stereotypical indie scene of New York circa 2001/02 emerged a truly efficient, truly heartfelt band; Interpol. Supposedly named so because of their military-like organised nature and precisioned effectiveness on their respective instruments, this is a band who got it right from the off. Read more »
The recent arrival of a touring Who to these shores (their first dates since 2004) has seen me dusting down their 1971 classic, Who’s Next.
Not only is this the band’s best, and a recording that can easily hold its own against the usual suspects that dominate the ‘all time greats’ lists, it is also one of the most intensely violent experiences you are ever likely to subject your ears to (and loud even during the quiet bits).
Foo Fighters may be a stadium-filling, Grammy Award winning rock colossus but back in 1994 when this eponymous debut album was recorded not only did they not have a name, as a band they didn’t even actually exist.
A few months after Kurt Cobain died, ex-Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl walked into a Seattle studio, laid down 15 demo tracks and created one of the finest post-punk albums ever.
It’s an urban myth that the Stone Roses peaked with their first album, 1989’s Stone Roses. This may be controversial but, to me, their eponymous debut reads more like an early singles collection than an album proper.
Yes, those singles were astounding, groundbreaking, excellent, but the capabilities of each Roses individual is pushed to the limit in a positive way on Second Coming.
Submitted by: News Donkey
It’s an urban myth that the Stone Roses peaked with their first album, 1989’s Stone Roses. This may be controversial but, to me, their eponymous debut reads more like an early singles collection than an album proper.